


Another Way to Heal

by eeyore9990



Series: Fifteen Months [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Author feels, Broken Boys, Canon compliant through 3A, Derek Feels, M/M, Scott Feels, dialogue-heavy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-23
Updated: 2013-10-23
Packaged: 2017-12-30 05:39:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1014794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eeyore9990/pseuds/eeyore9990
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scott takes Derek aside for an overdue talk.  </p>
<p>Part of 15 Months Universe</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Way to Heal

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, this is like part eleven or something of this series, and I feel like I should apologize for giving you the series out of order, but I'm not gonna. Because I've had to live with my backward ass brain for 37 years, so. Welcome to my life. This is how it works.
> 
> Also, if this only makes sense in my head, well. Again, my brain is a weird place, and all my feels from Season 3 got tangled up in this.

Derek was watching Stiles interact with various members of the pack when he felt attention that whispered _alpha_ to him. It was a prickling at the back of his neck, a sensation that made him turn automatically. 

Scott was standing behind him, ostensibly watching Stiles as well, but his attention was focused on Derek. Scott shifted his gaze, and Derek felt pinned by the complicated emotions he could smell and feel coming through their tentative bond.

"Scott?"

"Do you mind if we...?" Scott gestured toward the door leading to the back deck.

Without bothering to answer, Derek just led the way. When Scott pulled the door shut behind him—softly, gently—Derek braced himself. There was something off about the moment, something that spoke of danger and _hurt_ beneath the surface.

"I love Stiles," Scott said, jumping in feet-first to a conversation they'd been circling for weeks. 

Derek flinched, head bowing. As much as this _thing_ with Stiles felt real to him, he knew he could never hope to compete—

"No," Scott growled. Thrusting a hand through his hair, he sighed. "Not...like that. I love Stiles like the other half of my soul. He's been my brother in everything but blood since we were too young to know what forever meant. He's picked me up and put me together and died for me. He's _killed_ for me when I was too...weak, too moral to do it for myself." A muscle leapt in his jaw, and he turned the full force of his gaze on Derek. "He's done things for me I couldn't bring myself to do for him."

"I..."

"No, please, let me say this. If I don't, if we get off track, I'll... I've failed him, _a lot_ , but I'm trying to do better by him. Trying to show him I know how important he is. Because I did a lot of underappreciating him for a long time. And he deserves. Better."

"Better than me," Derek said, nodding.

"Better than a friend who forgets his existence for a girl who has proven all too willing to hurt and/or kill me. Who lets him get the shit beat out of him by said girl's grandfather and then...I didn't even know. I had no idea, because I was too wrapped up in _me_ to even ask. Yeah," Scott said with a burst of snide laughter. "I'm a _true alpha_. But Stiles...I love him. I'm not good at it, but I'm trying. I need you to understand that."

And Derek just nodded, because of course he did.

"I need you to understand that I love Stiles not just because he is literally the best person ever, but also because I _know_ Stiles. He's...Derek, he's overwhelming. Like, I mean, there are times, and I've known him forever, but there are times I just have to walk away so I can _breathe_. Because Stiles is _overwhelming._ "

Frowning, Derek shook his head, about to interrupt, when Scott kept talking.

"He is stubborn, and needy, and _wants_. He wants _so much_. But never for himself. Do you get that? He wants for others. He wants happiness, and love, and mostly...he wants safety. He's so fucking broken sometimes, Derek. You have to understand that. He's been broken for so long that he healed that way. When his mom died, it broke him, and everything he's become since then? Yeah. Ten days after we buried Mrs Stilinski, Stiles announced he was in love with Lydia. And he spent every moment from then until Lydia saved Jackson pouring his love into her."

"So you think he just transfered that to me?" At the thought of that, something ripped open in Derek.

"No! No, that's...you don't understand. It's real. It's all real, always. That's what I mean! He pours himself, all of himself, into his emotions. And when they break...he breaks all over again.

"Derek, this is your pack. Your home. You have a place here, for as long as you want it. Nothing will ever change that." Scott put his hand on Derek's bare forearm, letting him feel the certainty of that statement, reassuring him. It was just buried in a mess of complicated emotions: fear and heartbreak and hope.

"But you need to know. If you want to leave. If even a part of you is planning to? Just go. There is no way to do it gently. If you don't want him as much as he wants you, please god, just...break him quickly so I can try to put him back together. Because he can't bleed out forever while you wait around and decide if he's worth it."

Derek jerked his arm away. "He is," he said, his voice rough. "He is worth so much more than...me."

"I know." At Derek's look, Scott shrugged uncomfortably. "He's worth more than all of us. It's why we need him so fucking desperately. But...that doesn't mean that I don't know him. I know how difficult it can be, loving him. He scares the fuck out of me. Because he has no regard for himself. I can only imagine how much worse it'll be for you."

"You said he's broken." Derek turned his gaze on the door, allowing his hearing to extend, seek out Stiles' voice, his soul taking comfort from Stiles' soft, muffled laughter. "Maybe that's why we fit. Because the pieces of me are so scattered I'll never be whole again."

"I'm scared for you," Scott admitted, his voice dropping nearly to a whisper. "For both of you. I worry that you'll consume each other in a need to fix your broken pieces with each other."

Derek laughed, but there was nothing happy about it. "I just want every part of him. Is that too much to ask?"

A soft sigh gusted between them, and somehow it carried hints of relief. "Maybe you'll overwhelm each other."

"And that's a good thing?"

Scott looked at him, the weight of his power pulling at Derek. "For you and Stiles? Yeah. I really think it might be."

"So, is this your version of the shovel talk?"

"No. This is me telling you there won't ever be a shovel talk. Because I can't be responsible for Stiles losing anyone else. I can't even joke about it." Scott turned toward the door, twisting the knob in his hand but just standing there, keeping it closed. "I...you'll hurt each other. People do. I'll stay out of it, and keep the pack out of it. But Derek." His shoulders pulled up, as if absorbing a blow before they relaxed back down. "I love him." 

Derek released a breath. The fear that scented the air was understandable now. "You said he was the other half of your soul. Scott..." Derek's eyes flashed a brilliant blue as he made his oath, "I had no soul until I had him. I can't hurt him without hurting myself."

"You need him."

"Yeah..."

Scott nodded. "It's codependent as hell, but it might be the only thing that'll work for the two of you."

When they walked back in the house, Derek's gaze sought out Stiles, who was looking directly at him. A soft smile curved his lips as he boldly stared, uncaring of who saw.

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of the universe that started in 15 Months, Give or Take and I'm putting them together that way, but fair warning that the pieces will get rearranged as needed when other parts get added.


End file.
